Brooke HOgan is force feeding my eyes with her massive crotch.
WTF is wrong with this girl? I mean its not like she doesn’t have access to money, her dad is the Hulkster for Christ’s sake. So why the fuck then does she wear bejeweled panties and tube tops from Charlotte Rouse and then shove it in my fucking eyes. Got dayum woman, know your place in this world!
Here she is performing over the weekend in Florida where the eye raping occurred.
The pole is reportedly pregnant with twins.
Ugg these people are so fucking annoying.
I am so over seeing pics of Paris and Doug shoving their tongues down each other’s throats. That shit should come with a warning label, “may give you conjunctivitus, or crabs.”
The stooopid ass couple apparently has no responsibilities (a.k.a. job, rent, school, anything adultlike), and has been spreading their sexual fluids all over the world for some time now.
Their trip has included stops in Toykyo, L.A., and now Hawaii, and they have made sure to take cheesy, staged, vomit-inducing photos wherever they go.
When you have to be helped to stuff yourself into a dress you should draw the following conclusions:
1. You are probably too fat to get into the dress, thus should not be trying it on in the first place.
2. You are pathetic,
Kim Kardashian picked the smallest dress in the shop then made her child slave stuff her into it with the threat of not feeding it for the next month if they didn’t make it fit. Upon countless attempts the paramedics had to be called and Kim was removed with the jaws of life.
The slave child was sent back to Vietnam.
Fu*k Moderation, that’s for poor bitches!
Paris Hilton continued to celebrate her 28th birthday, two weeks after the fact, this time in Vegas with her new z-list fuck buddy Doug Reinhardt.
The bash was over the top retarded, to compliment Paris’s unique quirkiness.
The following recap of the event I did not make up:
And at the end of the evening ‘birthday girl’ Paris was presented with a giant cake shaped like a pink mushroom topped with a butterfly, surrounded by her favorite red velvet cupcakes, as the whole club sang Happy Birthday.
During the party, Paris got up on stage to thank everyone for coming and to gush about her new love, Doug.
She told the crowd, “My man is right over there, the sexiest man in the world,” before singing her candy pop single Stars Are Blind especially for him.
And then the Valtrex fairy descended from the heavens and granted her a wish with its big pink magic wand.
“Since fur adds 20 years and 20 pounds, maybe Mary-Kate and Ashley think their matronly wardrobe will deflect the gossip about bulimia. Somewhere, someone is missing a matching pair of Bigfoot bobblehead dolls.”
-Peta
Britney put on her best slutty Halloween costume and trotted around the stage as she lipsynched last night in New Orleans for her big comback tour debut.
-Boring-
At least her big ass didn’t steal the show this time.
Lauren Conrad wrote a book.
L.A. Candy, (yes that is the title), is 100% “loosely inspired” by her own experience and tells the story of 19-year-old girl named Jane Roberts “who moves to L.A. and unexpectedly becomes the star of a scripted TV show reality television show.” In the book Jane’s best friend is named whore-bag Heidi Scarlett.
The novel will be released June 16, and is the first of three installments.
Conrad wrote on her Myspace page, “I’ve always loved books that I could lose myself in, ones that would transport me to another place, but had characters I could relate to. So, I’m so excited to have this opportunity to write books like that for other readers to read and envy me.”
Dumbass Mc.Fake Tits will not be given away after all by Hugh Hefner on her wedding day to Hank Baskett.
Previously her former pedophile boyfriend Hef was going to walk her down the aisle and give her away to her new man. (this feels incestuous to us…just saying…). Anyways, Kendra has since changed her mind and her brother will now be taking Hef’s place.
She said the following to E! about the situation:
“I think it would mean a lot to my family and me down the line, It just makes more sense.”
However, there do not appear to be any hard feelings on Hef’s behalf because the pair will be wed at the Playboy mansion. Again, this is just plain weird, doesn’t Hank get all creeped out that his future wife used to shack up with an 80 year old man??? And they are getting married at the house they used to do the nasty nasty in???
These people just aren’t normal.
The eternal on again off again couple was spotted in London today pretending like they eat stocking up on junk food shortly after arriving in the UK.
Samantha apparently has a DJ gig in London, and Lindsay is there since she has no career to support her lesbian lover close friend.
I am starting to think they are like anacondas, they eat a massive meal that is the equivalent of a hippo and then don’t feed again for another two months.
So Paris is in Tokyo for some promotional tour (Valtrex?) and that dude from The Hills came with.
Doug Reinhardt, who is Lauren Conrad’s ex-boyfriend, was first seen with Paris at a nightclub in Florida two weeks ago.
The two were spotted at a pet store kissing and heavily petting (pun intended).
We give them a week, once that bitch finds out Paris gave him the clap he’ll be on the first flight back to L.A.
