STFU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Paris Hilton recently told Extra:

“My mom and Michael went to high school together and they were best friends since they were 13.

“So I grew up knowing Michael very well and when he had his daughter, he always loved the name Paris and grew up being an uncle to me.

“So he asked my mom if it was okay and, of course, she said yes.

“I think Paris is such a beautiful little girl and I’m proud we have the same name.”

I bet Paris was equally as honored when she looked at Wikipedia online and realized that country of France had used her name for one of its cities.

July 27, 2009 Permalink / 6 Comments » (RSS) /

Oh Paris how I heart you

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You never miss a chance to make a complete ass out of yourself and remind everyone just how much class you have.

Really, I congratulate you.

May 25, 2009 Permalink / 1 Comment » (RSS) /

Who the Fuck invited you??

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What the fuck Paris?

Why are you in Cannes for the film festival??

Do you have no shame left honey? Is that what it is, you just don’t care at all anymore about making a fucking fool outta yourself?

Take Doug and why don’t you guys head back to L.A. and do those things that you do…which is..well I’m not really sure other than have sex and say stupid shit.

May 21, 2009 Permalink / No Comments » (RSS) /

Quote of the Day

Paris Hilton’s first thought upon finding out that she had a sex tape leaked on the internet?

That she would never be like Princess Diana!!!! Ha Ha Ha. Oh the lies we tell ourselves when we are young.

In a new documentary coming out about her life on MTV she said, amongst other ridiculous shit:

“It’s the most intimate thing you can do and the whole f***ing world is watching it and laughing at you.

“That’s not what I wanted when I was a little girl. It’s not what I planned. I always looked up to people like Princess Diana and now I can never be like that.”

That’s right Paris, you are never going to be like her. Oh, and you never were going to be like her either. The sex tape didn’t alter that.

May 18, 2009 Permalink / No Comments » (RSS) /

Want Our Opinion?

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Ms. Valtrex turned to her Twitter page yesterday to post a pic of herself (surprise, surprise) as a brunette and asked her “fans” what they thought.

Well we don’t Twitter, but we do offer opinions (always un-solicited) of people we don’t like.

FUCKING HEINOUS.

Try a bag next time, placed over your face. Then maybe we will be getting somewhere.

May 13, 2009 Permalink / No Comments » (RSS) /

And the court documents prove that…

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PARIS HILTON IS A HUGE FUCKING IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hahahahhahahaha THIS is worth reading. Paris is being sued by a production company stating that she failed to promote the movie Pledge This, as stated in her contract. So in court this week, personal info about the retard was released. Read below

When asked by lawyers about her mobile phone usage and calls from the producers, She testified: “With my phone I never know, because I lose it all the time.

“I’ve never seen a phone bill of mine in my life.”

The lawyer then asked the star who received her bills.

She replied: “Does it say? I don’t know. I’m assuming, like, whoever pays my bills.

“I just feel bad. This is my first time looking at a phone bill.”

The lawyer in the case then asked Paris if she had a diary with her past business meetings and appearances.

Paris responded that she uses the net to see where in the world she has been, explaining: “I don’t know. I’ll just look around, just press my name and Google it and see.”

When asked about her executive producer responsibilities on Pledge This!, Paris replied: “I’m not sure what a producer does, but — I don’t know, help get cool people in the cast.”

May 8, 2009 Permalink / No Comments » (RSS) /

Is it a Bird? Is it a plane?

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Paris Hilton looks just about as confused as I am at the fact that she appears to magically out of nowhere have tits.

April 28, 2009 Permalink / 1 Comment » (RSS) /

Paris Hilton loves to look fugs

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Does Doug have a cougar fetish? Does he like to think about doing it with Kathy Hilton while he is sticking it to Paris?

What in the GD tarnation fuckity fucking shit is that hair about? And the dress, god the dress… It screams discount at T.J. Maxx and blown out hair with bangs circa 1983.

No!

April 10, 2009 Permalink / No Comments » (RSS) /

$5 for a blow job $25 for anal

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Okay kids, so I checked my calender and NO it is not Halloween, Kabalah Halloween, Scientology Halloween, etc. etc.

Paris Hilton has money. Lots of filthy fucking money, yet she prefers to dress like the hookers that hang out at the bus stop after 9pm where I live in the ghetto *not a dramatization.

April 5, 2009 Permalink / No Comments » (RSS) /

I’m so hot

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Oh my god, loves it.

Dougy-poo won’t be able to keep his hands off me later when he sees how hot I am in this super sexy swimsuit.

I hope he get’s my name tatooed in chinese characters on his bicep. So hot.

XOXO-Paris

April 3, 2009 Permalink / No Comments » (RSS) /