By taking out your huge ass tittays of course!!! Jessica was in New York this past week talking to TV execs about her possible return to reality TV, dear God help us all.
If this twat gets another TV show I really am going to boycott the United States…
Oh sweet baby Jesus!
Jessica Simpson is performing at …wait for it…. SEA WORLD!!!!!!
The singer must identify with the other mammals that have a layer of fat to insulate their stumpy bodies year round. Notices how she feels so comfortable in her habitat that she bears her skin for all predators to see.
When are they going to put this beluga into a glass tank???
WHY is Jessic the Hut on the cover of Vanity Fair????!!!!
Argh!
She must have paid them, there is no other way. here career is over, she got fat, she has no fashion taste, an amoeba has more brain capacity, etc., etc. Taken from the interview inside the mag:
“When it comes to media criticism, that’s just something I have had train myself—literally train myself—to ignore…. I mean, the way people make it sound, I should have never been singing in the first place…. It comes with what I do, and I know that every day the media’s going to challenge me, is going to want to bring me down. But I feel like I’m at such a place that I own myself, and it’s authentic. I own that authentic part of myself, and none of those words are harsh enough to make me believe them…. I can’t imagine saying some of the things people have said about me about anybody else.”
Yes Jess, what you sing is authentic, authentic CRAP.
I hope you tipped the airbrusher, he should be christened as the new saint of making jelly rolls vanish.
Nope.
The only thing getting dropped is Jessica herself, this time from her record label!
This shouldn’t come as a surprise after all those pathetic performances this year when she couldn’t remember the words to her songs on stage, cried when she fucked up, waddled around in coochie cutters, etc.
I guess she can focus on her plus-sized clothing line now.
Jessica Simpson proves once again that she has no fashion sense.
Honestly, somewhere Ken Paves has to be laughing his little gay ass off (I am sure he doubles as her hairstylist and fashioniste) because once again he has managed to shove Jessica-the-huts bloat into a nasty Mervyn’s Juniors department dress with two bracelets that he snagged at Claire’s that you would have to be drunk and high and blind and Special Olympicfied (in the words of our President) to wear together.
Got dayum.
When you are five-feet tall, overweight, and have massive saggy tatas coochie cutters and a corset are NEVER THE BEST OPTION!! GOT DAYUM JESSICA SIMPSON!!!
According to concert goers she forgot the words to two of her songs and got booed while on stage.
Does she need the money that bad? Why would you subject yourself over and over again to public humiliation??
…and a hamburger did not fall out.
No, she actually said something remotely intelligent before singing one of her country songs last night in Phoenix.
The song “Remember That,” as all quality country songs do, has to deal with a woman being slapped around her trailer by her whisky lovin’ redneck husband.
Simpson said the following to the crowd:
“In love, we all go through a lot of things, and a lot of things unfortunately make us stay there. No matter what you go through in life, no matter what abuse you go through, take your heart and run so far away.”
She then broke into “Remember That,” with the lines “Remember how he pushed you in the hallway just enough to hurt a little bit/ Remember the whiskey in his whispers and the lies that fell so easy from his lips/ He said he’ll never do it again/ You can’t take it back/ The proof is on your skin/ Remember that.
“It doesn’t matter how he hurts you/ With his hands or with his words/ You don’t deserve it/ It ain’t worth it/ Take your heart and run.”
Well played Jessica Simpson.
