Sleaze Hunter

SamRo who?

Last week Lindsay did an advert for eHarmony.com, poking fun at herself and all the shit people have been saying about her unstable ass since she and her lezzy love muffin broke up recently.

She continued on her “I’m not bat-shit tour 2009″ on Wednesday night at the Hollywood hotspot My House. There her fire crotch caught it’s eye on the deliciousness that is Leonardi DiCaprio and went straight into rapist mode.

According to witnesses, she threw herself at him, then after a few trips to the bathroom to powder her nose..she took him to the dance floor and rubbed her lezzy muff all over him.

The eyewitness added: “It was a bit shocking when she got up and started dancing in front of him but he seemed to be enjoying it.”

We aren’t so sure that Leo is straight (there have been lots of rumors over the years…) but regardless, WTF man? Regardless, Lezzy Lohan all up in your junk when you have a reputation to mantian and hot ass model girlfriend at home, why even allow her to breathe near you???

April 18, 2009 Permalink / No Comments » (RSS) /

Well lindz has got her ginge on again, in attempt to lure SamRo back to her firecrotch? We’ll never know…

But what we do know is that SamRo is not really showing any signs of wanting to get back together with her ex-trainwreck cokehan.

According to spies while cokehan was out getting her weave re-woven all sorts of crotchety red, SamRo was out with her guy friends, namely Benji Madden, hitting up the DCMA store in L.A.

So now that Lindsay is single, and it looks like she is going to be staying that way…is she going to stay gay or start loving the cock again? Was she ever straight? Was she ever gay?

April 10, 2009 Permalink / No Comments » (RSS) /

When going throught a heart-wrenching break up when you can do nothing but lie in bed and cry, my first thought is always to call up OK Magazine, because logically my ex would find that amusing and want to get back together with me…

Sounds like some Crackie logic to me!

Cokehan has not been taking the split well from her Sammy and not even a week later she has already spilled her guts to the popular gossip magazine with the typical sob story that comes with every drug-fueld cheating break up.

“It’s absolute hell,” Lohan told Us on Monday in a far-ranging interview over several lengthy phone calls and emails where she was agitated, crying and baffled by the turn of events…Lohan says she’s “so alone” without Ronson. “Everyone’s turned on me,” says the actress. She tells the magazine that the night of the Chateau showdown, Nicole Richie walked by her and said “Uck,” and Drea De Matteo said, “Come at me, bitch.” Sources tell the magazine Ronson had repeatedly tried to break up with Lohan over the past month, but each time, “Lindsay threatens to kill herself — she cares about her but wants out.”

Bottles up!

April 8, 2009 Permalink / No Comments » (RSS) /

Crack watch 2009 is oficially underway. We give her about 36 hours before she goes fucking ape shit and does something to either get back at her ex-lover, or even better, embarrasses herself publicly (police chasese in stolen cars, get kicked out of a party thrown by Paris Hilton, try to make out with Caleb Best, etc. etc.).

Apparently Cokehan confirmed the split from Samantha Ronson today, saying that they are taking a break so that she can “focus on herself”. WTF Lindsay? Got dumped and that is the best shit you can come up with? At least say “and go to rehab” or something somewhat believable. Or coherent.

And the best part, the internet is abuzz that Samantha Ronson´s family went to the police to try and take out a restraining order on Lindsay because the bitch is unstable, and apparently cuts herself! We got a cutter!

April 7, 2009 Permalink / No Comments » (RSS) /

This shit is on Twitter, that can only mean one thing….fire crotch and little boy Ronson may really be over!

The angry sometimes lesbian Lohan is fucking pissed at her alledgedly cheating ex-carpet muncher and decided to publicly lash out at her on twitter.

The following was taken from Cokehan’s and Lilly Allen’s Twitter pages.

The bottom post is the first in the series.

@jackdaniels9 oh- it’s like this? fine. Byebye
about 1 hour ago from web in reply to jackdaniels9

@lilyroseallen oy dafty fella ring me on my cellular woman. d message me for the new digiez
about 1 hour ago from web in reply to lilyroseallen

@lilyroseallen OMG WOMAN! CAWLLLL MEEEEEEEE im meeting you in san fran babydoll
about 2 hours ago from web in reply to lilyroseallen

@jackdaniels9 ask ur sister 2 stop yelling profanity plz; stop doing drugs. and tell charlotte to do more-she could loose a stone or 10.
about 9 hours ago from web in reply to jackdaniels9

@jackdaniels9 please go away. & go to bed. u work hard, & u need some rest. those around u are clearly negative influences. miss u.be wellxx
about 9 hours ago from web in reply to jackdaniels9

@jackdaniels9 look, im doing this publicly because u&ur friends call people mag..so-you win, you borke my heart. now go away. i loved you
about 10 hours ago from web

@jackdaniels PLEASE leave me ALONE. and stop staying in the room below me, you’ve woken me and my mother up. go to bed. keep cheating u win
about 10 hours ago from web

being cheated on does wonders to you
about 10 hours ago from web

@jackdaniels9 I was right all along. Cheat
about 21 hours ago from TwitterBerry

April 5, 2009 Permalink / No Comments » (RSS) /

WTF Beverly Hills Police Department?!

Cokehan’s arrest warrent was revoked after a court hearing this morning in which the judge, Marsha N. Revel, determined that the actress has been complying with the terms of her probation but needs to show her treatment program better documentation to avoid future court problems. The judge also noted that Lohan has not failed any drug or alcohol tests.

So what better way to celebrate being served an arrest warrant than going out and getting totally fucked up?? Cokie had spent the weekend fighting with her pink taco after she went on a major bender Friday night upon hearing the news.

Smells like rehab.

March 16, 2009 Permalink / No Comments » (RSS) /

Lindsay Lohan just threw a three pound black dildo through Sam Ro’s window!!!

No, I made that up, but something did fly through the window making a huge hole in the glass pane that looks out over the street in front of Sam Ro’s house where a massive heard of paparrazi have been camping out in the midst of the Cokehan arrest warrant drama since Friday night.

There are apparently five cops out there as well issuing tickets to the paparrazos and miscellaneaous people have been in to visit the carpet munchers, apparently some counseler came out and said that Lindsay is doing well.

-boring-

When the fuck are they going to tell us what the arrest warrant is for??

March 15, 2009 Permalink / No Comments » (RSS) /