Fu*k Moderation, that’s for poor bitches!
Paris Hilton continued to celebrate her 28th birthday, two weeks after the fact, this time in Vegas with her new z-list fuck buddy Doug Reinhardt.
The bash was over the top retarded, to compliment Paris’s unique quirkiness.
The following recap of the event I did not make up:
And at the end of the evening ‘birthday girl’ Paris was presented with a giant cake shaped like a pink mushroom topped with a butterfly, surrounded by her favorite red velvet cupcakes, as the whole club sang Happy Birthday.
During the party, Paris got up on stage to thank everyone for coming and to gush about her new love, Doug.
She told the crowd, “My man is right over there, the sexiest man in the world,” before singing her candy pop single Stars Are Blind especially for him.
And then the Valtrex fairy descended from the heavens and granted her a wish with its big pink magic wand.
