At first I thought this was a cholalicious Ru Paul with a blond wig done up for some latina flava tranny pageant, then I had to rinse my eyes out with tepid water due to the intense burning sensation that ensued. After that I looked at it again and realized that it was none other than the coveted Baywatch beauty Pam Anderson after a night of partying at Primal nightclub in Georgia.
Then I rinsed my eyes out again.
So Miley and her mom Tish went shopping yesterday in Glendale at some big public mall and were mobbed by papparazzi and screaming fans. Blah blah blah attention whore blah blah blah. Point being, doesn’t she look kind of pregnant in this picture ???
I thought it would be kind of hard for her to reproduce considering she and her boyfriend both have penises, but fuck I guess there is always divine intervention. I mean her dad sang Achy Breaky Heart, he’s like the Messiah in the southern United States.
So Ashlee Simpson is pissed that people are calling her sister a lard ass:
“I am completely disgusted by the headlines concerning my sister’s weight,” Simpson wrote Tuesday on her website. “A week after the inauguration and with such a feeling of hope in the air for our country, I find it completely embarrassing and belittling to all women to read about a woman’s weight or figure as a headline on Fox News.”
You know what Ashlee, I find it embarrassing and belittling to all human beings that you named your child Bronx Mowgli Wentz. I don’t even know how to pronounce that shit in my head!!
Oh, and your sister got fat.
40?????? I knew she was chryogenically frozen!!!!!! So go out and celebrate your big day girl, get you some more of that burnt auburn wet and wild lipstick that we all know is your favorite.
So what the fuck, every GD celebrity gets their own fashion line these days?? Seriously they are giving out fashion lines like welfare checks in south Georgia.
You couldn’t pay me to soil my body in these nasty ass juniors section from JC penny’s inspired outfits.
So everyone has their panties in a wad because Lindsay Lohan got skinny again. Today her rep issued a statement reassuring America that Lindsay recently ate two full meals in the same day. What she didn’t mention is that both meals consisted of the Samantha Ronson pink taco du jour.
In all honesty I don’t care at all about this story, I just wanted to post a picture of Pink so I could talk about her man body. I’m convinced she has a penis, just look at her man stomach!! That shit keeps me up at night. Actually, I saw this hot trannylicious sheman one time at the airport in Vegas and she was every bit as masculine as I had spent my nights dreaming about.
Oh wait, nobody gives a fuck.
Sweet lord baby Jesus!!!!!!!!!!!!! That is one fine ass front butt if I’ve ever seen one. Jessica Simpson seems so proud of her front butt that she feels it is necessary to stuff it into a size three pair of ugly ass jeans that she probably got from 5-7-9 ten years ago when it was the rage in whatever the fuck redneck town she comes from.
I bet Tony Romo strokes her front butt every night
So word has it that the hotness that is Megan Fox is slated to take over for Angelina Jolie in the role of Laura Croft Tomb Raider. Angelina was hot for a really long time, but then she started having babies and shit and her hotness totally took a nose dive. Even though she got her body back and all, the fact that she spends all day with her gazillion bratty kids and likes it makes me look at her different…Maybe its just that my heart never fully developed past the small lump of coal that it appears to be, but still…bitch please. All Megan Fox needs to do now is to dump that Brian Austin Green Z-list bitch and she will be my number one leading lady.
